Three Drinks

A man in Colorado is making a bid for state govenor on the back of his celebity status. Mark 'three-drinks' Owen (real name Easter Santa) is renowned for his ability and insistance to drink three drinks at a time. "I'm a wake up an' drink 3 cups a orange juice" said three-drinks at a press conference on Thursday. "Y'all wanna know why? COS I'M THREE-DRINKS MUTHERFUCKER! THAT'S MY MOTHERFUCKING NAME! I'M GONNA BE THE MAYOR!".

_{All content copyright Tom Crowley}