The number of blades carried by men's razors have, in the last five years, increased rapidly. This is due, in part, to a massive increase in facial hair in the western world, caused by the fertilising effects of pollution on the faces of men. That is why the Gillette company, whilst researching more effective ways of removing said hair (known as face-fungus in the razor trade),in 2008 manufactured a ground-breaking new innovation in the world of shaving: The Shavinator 5000. The Shavinator 5000 was so effective in removing facial hair due to its "insert face here" technology. The idea was that you set the S'5g to your facial hair's grade of thickness and length, insert your face and the 5000 blades would trim your fungus in a precise, consistent and incredibly fast 5 seconds. Unfortunately, after initial tests, it was scrapped, due to malfunctions. The three test subjects never grew back their beards, or their epidermis. On the bright side, however, their facial skin is being used as handle covers for the new 6 bladed Gillette "Man, I Feel Like a Woman" range.
All content copyright Tom Crowley