Professor is generally considered to be the hardest title to obtain. To become a professor, one is required to sit the usual examinations, with the slight oddity that they occur at a random time and place without notice - hence the fact that many professors are just normal people who happened to be in the right place at the right time.
On becoming a professor the perks include:
Large private apartments in a university of your choice
The King of England is the sole person who can fire you from any job
If a mistake happens to do with anything you are involved in, you are automatically absolved of all blame, which is then transferred to other parties
Immunity from prosecution for shoplifting any item under 3d (£5)
All content copyright Tom Crowley