Marmalade

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Mick Hucknall, semi-famous frontman of the perrenial middle-aged couples favorite Simply Red is terrified of marmalade. Passers by were stunned to see Mick bellowing at the top of his voice and running naked down Oxford Street in London, with marmalade smeaded all over his face. This was later discovered to be the result of an altercation after Mick tried to include himself in tourists photographs, and generally made a nuisance of himself to young women.

The source of Micks fear appears to be completely unfounded or even real, as he claims to have over 238 different phobias. Sceptics claim that after a brief glimpse of fame, Mick is now trying to get into the guiness book of records to grasp hold of the last shred of Z-list celebrity.

All content copyright Tom Crowley

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