Kevin Costner


Widely regarded as the most "wooden, stale and frankly unconvincing actor" ever witnessed, the late Kevin Costner was only cast in productions of any significance because he held the world at ransom.

From his secret lair located beneath the atlantic ocean (northeast of boston) he threatend the leaders of the world with the destruction of humanity by a colossal army of combat trained wildfowl. His only demand was he be given the oportunity to express his creativeness to the world stage. He also has a fine collection of hats.

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