Hunger

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Hunger is a blue creature, traditionally locked up 'till lunch with Shreddies breakfast cereal. However hunger is right now killing 1000s of people in the third world who do not like marmite. To avoid death at his giant death-spoon, here is how to recognise hunger:

There are 4 stages of hunger.

  • Stage 1 is the inkling stage, where you would expect to salivate at the thought of specific foods, usually steak. At this stage, food is perhaps the best enjoyed, and occurs regularly around sheduled mealtimes.
  • Stage 2 is the stage at which you would expect stomach-growling, and follows directly on from stage 1, or after prolonged imaginings of food. This is the stage at which your stomach can begin to hurt, especially in the morning. You really should eat.
  • Stage 3 of hunger is 'Anti-Hunger' where your body tricks itself into believing it is not hungry. Prolonging stage 2 causes this. Thoughts of eating may disappear at this point.
  • The last and final stage occurs long after you've had any thought of food at all, and involves shaking or trembling. If people notice you can't stand still without leaning against something, it may cause social embarrasment.

There is another stage, but really this delves more into starvation/death.

All content copyright Tom Crowley

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