David Beckham

The well known annoying, squeaky voice is emitted from David Beckham when he talks because he is actually a seven year old girl with quite severe hormone issues. He is understandably reluctant for this to be common knowledge so behaves as if his IQ is considerably less than that of the average seven year old girl. This means that his true identity goes unnoticed as his perceived diminished mental capacity is a requirement to be a professional football player

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