Anonymous
- Joker The 'joker' in a deck of cards was originally a blank card intended to be a spare, but everyone used to write something rude on it anyway. Rather than remove it, they left it in for the 2 known…
- Nougat The nougat is a small rodent related to the mouse. The substance used in confectionary is obtained in small amounts by scraping the inside of its pelt. When heated, the sugars disolve and it breaks…
- Ball and Peen Ball and Peen were originally rival inventors, both claiming to have invented the hammer. Once it had been established that hammers had been in use for several years beforehand, they joined forces,…
- Smug Cloud The first appearance of a smug cloud occurred during the 1986 Icelandic boil lancing championship.
Eilífr Goðrúnarson was defending his 17 year title when a literally unknown young contender…
CarloGambino
The all power all wise infinite TRUE god.
rAMEN
Anonymous
Save the Klondike Bars.
Anonymous
An oblong is any rectangle which has 8 sides. Rectangles with 7 sides are known as "posh squares".
Anonymous
- Shakespear The original version of the Shakespear play 'Twelfth Night' contained a 45 minute Lute solo, and is rumoured to have contained the first example of rapping. The 4 verse rap was a contribution by…
Anonymous
An Etonian prank where several males soil the sandwich of another.
Anonymous
A procedure whereby semen is forced back into the testes. Rarely used, due to the distinct possibility of rupture.
Anonymous
The Duke of Edinburgh loves to wave away imaginary pigeons, but insists on limiting himself to one a day.
The Big Brother TV program regularly recieves huge ratings as people around the UK tune in and try to figure out how to claw the miniature people from the picture box.
A picket is a tiny fence made of toothpicks.
A flat, cricket bat sized implement smeared with cream cheese. Widely used in the Netherlands to club seals.
- Seals Seals love cheese, but quickly become disorientated if no port accompanies the snack. Sealions on the other hand, become aggressive when approached with dairy based snacks. Hundreds of people die…
The Green Berets are extremely dangerous, as they are not yet ripe.
- The Ashes The famous cricket trophy contains the cremated remains of W.G. Grace, arguably the greatest batsmen of all time.
Legend has it that the holder of the trophy is imbued with cricket super-powers.
If…
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- Taxi The wording behind the 'fouling charge' warnings in a taxi are unclear, but the law specifies that the fouler must imburse the foulee. This means that the driver, if sick, is liable to pay the…
W.G. Grace, H.G. Wells and W.H.Smith all hated each other.
The demarcation of the coulomb barrier, or to hover on the precipice of said barrier indefinitely.
The Fulmenon was renamed soon after its invention, and has never been called as such since.
Dividing a cake is impossible.
A scotch egg is a phonomenon where an egg develops a tartan yolk. And has an alcohol content of 40%
The only true all-purpose excuse is to state simply and unequivocally that you fell. This will never fail.
Anonymous
- Barry Cryer Self-styled Brummie Barry Cryer caused contoversy during an episode of Countdown. When prompted for a brain-teaser, he yelled out; "YOUR BRAIN'S A FUCKING IDIOT", shocking the audience. The tirade…
- W.O.O.O, The Incredible The incredible "dubleya oh oh oh", or WOOO is a dancehall reggae MC known for his violent outbursts. After several years of study, it was found that he suffers from a unique condition, whereby…
- Winslow Arizona Every year, 56 people in Winslow Arizona are crushed by vending machines. In the event that fewer than 56 have been crushed by the end of the year, the remainder are disposed of in a special…
A rich, powerful vinegar.
- Football Hooligans In Rome, football hooligans attack rival fans by stabbing them in the bum. Most Roman football fanatics are thus wheelchair bound, not as a result of injury, but rather as a preventative measure….
The African tribe of the Nabuí have no word for "sadness", apparantly a significant contributing factor to many suicides.
- sheffield united Were officially the 4th worst team in the championship in the 2008 - 2009 season.
Behind the relegated sides, they achieved fuck all and played more games than everyone else, including 5 games of…
Anonymous
A cheaper alternative to the rarer sky-cumin.
In Taiwan, it is considered extremely lucky to have two hands. Unfortunately, with most of the population considering themselves to be blessed, the Taiwanese are prone to take unneccessary risks.
Bill Cosby's favorite car has over 18 wheels, a swimming pool, and a volleyball court. He insists on wearing a special Dick Dastardly style hat whenever he drives.
A cross between a clementine, a tomato, and a lettuce. It has an acrid, buttery taste, and is toxic. The clemato, however is delicious. But also toxic.
- Camomile The Camomile is a breed of cat that lives on tea leaves. The cat instinctively knows which tea leaves are perfect to eat. Tea farmers exploit this by following the cat until it chooses a leaf. They…
The most complex musical ever staged, is signing in the rain. The score is played entirely in sign language, which is blasted out at an ear-shattering 200 decibels.
Paddy Ashdown cannot resist sprinting at full speed around corners. It has surprised more than one passer by, and resulted in 2 deaths.
Spongecake is a myth; sponges do not have distinct circulatory, respiratory, digestive and excretory systems, and would not be able to digest cake.
- Nazi Gunfire During the second world war, Polish resistance fighters would paint balloons to look like their own heads and tie them to the shoulder of their tunics in the hope that this would attract the Nazi…
- Ikea Ikea created a Monopoly style video game in an attempt to monopolise the video game market. The plan backfired after a glut of similar games from rivals flooded the market. Of these, only the DFS…
A survey by Ikea shows that 1 in 50 rugs are sneered at contemptuously. This makes them the most apparantly contemptable homeware furnishing. Light switches were the most admired.
People born without shoulders tend to be more intolerant of loud talking.
Artificial sweetener is made from mashed spider eggs, which are then mixed with sugar. Due to the slight bitterness of the eggs, more sugar is needed to achieve a comparable sweetness.
Frankincense is an expensive egg curry. The royal family of Monaco eat it exclusively.
Research shows that Eminem, the popular singer/songwriter, may be steadily inverting. Interestingly, Eminiem backwards is Meinime, although this is unrelated.
- Recipe for Success There have been many recipes for success over the years, but all contain 1/2 cup of water and a pinch of nutmeg. Drinking a half cup of water with a pinch of nutmeg however, will not guarantee…
Surgical amputation was performed with a hammer as late as 1932.
A sanctimonious bible story. Can also be used to describe a story with some vapid/flimsy religious moral subtext.
Ron Howard is the President of Australia. He rose to fame as Richie Cunningham in 'Happy Days', and later went on to direct several Oscar award-winning films, notably Apollo 13.
George Formby is remembered fondly for his skill with the 'Banjulele', but he was also immensely skilled at pest control. George starred in a number of adult films before his death in 1956.
It takes a prawn approximately 2 hours to produce a single cracker.
- Marko Murat Marko Murat is the name of a fictional Serbian painter. In 1812, the Serbian goverment hired several well-known artists to commision several pieces under this pseudonym for the anniversary of the…
The hamstring is the slightly elastic string tied around a joint of meat. Severing this meaty string is considered extremely bad luck among atheletes, who always consume it whole.
Due to the frequency and scale of vandalism to CCTV cameras in certain parts of the UK, CCTV cameras are required to be monitored via CCTV.
King Prawns was an 18th century Austrian count. He succeeded the throne in 1742 and abdicated almost immediately, gaining him enormous popularity in South-East Asia.
Lemon curd is the single most preventative substance of scurvy. Unfortunately, it is impossible to fill a donut, the largest cause of scurvy, with lemon curd.
- Nairobi The most influential person in Nairobi is regarded to be Obi Wan Kinobi, the fictional Star Wars character. He is credited with opening a nationwide chain of Toby Carveries, despite the fact that…
- Kidney Beans Kidney beans are widely recognised as being the most important contributing factor to winning a marathon. Since the poll started in 1963, Time magazine's readers have consistently voted the top 3…
- Louis XIV In 1643, Louis XIV came to the French throne. Louis like many of his forebears was an advocate of both humidity and precipitation. His coronation was commemorated by endeavouring to find a way to…
The word pillow comes from the French 'Pillion' which means (to) cloud. The first recorded use of a pillow was in 1643, in "les reasons d'aitre" which describes an attempt to bag fog.
- Electrical Conductivity Electrical conductivity is apportioned by the IEEE in Brussels. Due to the incredible complexity of this process, many elements have not yet been appointed any specific conductivity, leaving them…
- Sasquatch A satsquatch is a sour pickle, often seen in extreme survival rations. They taste abominable, which could explain why they are often found discarded in the arctic tundra and himalayan mountain…
- Smart 1952 marked the first time in Englands history that the uneducated were able to wear nice clothes, after a law requiring tailors to issue an exam upon purchase was repealed. Prior to this, the…
In April 1827, over 217 people concurred, resulting in a small explosion and a backlog of 6 to 8 weeks.
Other famous concurrers have been William (the) and Julias Caesar.
- Chewing The way you chew food can significantly affect the taste. As part of a scientific study at the University of Manchester, subjects were tricked into believing that apples were steak. After they…
Angelina Jolie is a practiced master of accents, but her natural voice is a deep Westcountry burr. Her husband, Brad Pitt, has likened her to a sexy pirate.
- the earth may be hit on friday 13 2029 People say that the earth is going to be hit on the 13 of april which is a friday. So the world may end on the 13 of april 2029.
Conservative estimates suggest this day will be the premier…
Anonymous
- full moon The full moon has often been attributed with the power to cause people to behave in an irrational way. This fact is coroborated by the opinions of three out of three administrative assistants…
Anonymous
- The sun Many people falsly believe that the sun is actually a star. This of course is rediculous. It is obviously much larger than a star and much hotter. Could you get a sunburn or perhaps starburn from a…
Anonymous
- Basketball Basketball is the sport of the gods. One day a basketball fell from the sky and evolves into what is now Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris cut off one of his ears and created a basketball net. When he cut…
Anonymous
An Irish mob hit.
Anonymous
Kids are a form of torture put in this world to torture parents everywhere for their inappropriate behavior.
Anonymous
- Manitoba Manitoba is a prairie province in Canada. It is also the coldest of the lower provinces. The inuits that live there build igloo's to keep warm in the average -50 temperature. The polar bears that…
Anonymous
- The jonas brothers The jonas brothers are allegedly from the year 3000. They came back from the future in their time machine (nick jonas' guitar). When Joe Jonas was singing for its a small world (The CEO of Disney…
Anonymous
he was angood one
Anonymous
On the moon, the horizon is tilted 45 degrees from the angle we percieve on the Earth.
Anonymous
- Space Bar The space bar on a computer keyboard was originally called the gap key. It was then renamed the hyperspace bar due to its function in the Defender and Asteroid video games, then shortened to 'space…
- Negative Growth Negative growth is a financial term for something getting smaller. Even the word 'negative' is being phased out of the banking dictionary, replaced by phrases such as 'less large', and 'oppositely…
- Economic Downturn Many people are tempted to hide from economic downturn under a table - thinking that the downturn will be unable to see, and thus target them. In fact, this is exactly where the downturn is.
The…
Soop
Knowing is half the battle, leading many to conceed victory despite inflicting overwhelming losses to their opponent, simply by misunderstanding the circumstances.
Due to an administrative error, the entire Dorset town of Wilmslow is a palindrome.
- Clementine Controversy The clementine controversy centres around a Frenchman named Louis Vitton, who was allegedly struck blind by eating too many cirtrus fruits. The blindness may however, have been due to excessive…
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- Soup; The Origins First seen in the middle of the indian ocean, soup was made from left overs of a pirate attack on a rare breed of basking shark. The now extinct species would excrete a sloppy substance from a blow…
Anonymous
- Government Benefits As everyone knows, government targets are hard to meet - epecially when you only do 5 actual days work per year. However, simply throwing money at problems is a much quicker short term solution…
- George Takei George Takei (real name George Han) gained his unusual nickname suring the filming of the initial series of Star Trek. The star gained a reputaion for performing flawlessly every time, thus earning…
- Squirrels Until 1804, squirrels were completely indistinguishable from common field mice. Frustrated by being constantly mistaken for them, the squirrels developed an elaborate costume that would be passed…
Anonymous
- Serifs Britain once banned "confusing" serif fonts amid fears that they were too difficult to read - but the change was repealed mere hours after it was passed, due to a loophole regarding simplicese (a…
- Quadraplegia A man left without the use of all for limbs was mauled to perfect health when his wheelchair accidentally fell into a lion enclosure. The unnamed man insisted that previously, he really was…
Manufacture of Formica was bought to an abrupt halt in 1985 when it was deemed to be counter-productive.
Individuals with downs syndrome have an innate skill in gardening. In tests, downs sufferers were consistently able to grow a tree up to 1.39 times faster than unaffected individuals.
Butterflies are theoretically lethal, but their feeble barb cannot penetrate human skin. Confusingly, butterflies live almost entirely on a diet of margarine.
- George Foreman George Foreman claims that his new "George Foreman branding device" is so good, he puts his name on literally everything.
George Foreman, is in fact, one of four people by the name George who look…
Anonymous
Recent analysis has recently shown that the Earths equator is gradually slipping sideways.
Downholstery is the process of making furniture appear worn and less valuable.
Anonymous
Google Gadget to add to your Google homepage or Desktop
Simply click the Google button to get started.
What are facts?
Facts are all around us. You can't see them, but they are there….
Soop
- Stovepipe Hat The stovepipe hat was at the centre of a roaring controversy in the early 1920s after several members of the house of commons suggested that women be allowed to wear the hats (specifically any type…
- Cutlery During the reign of Tzar Nicholas II of Russia, using an item of cutlery for anything other than its intended purpose was punishable by a lengthy jail sentence. Many, when faced with with a large…
- Ambush The word ambush comes from a region in the Navejo desert where 2 tribes were continually feuding for over 30 years. The only cover in the sparse landscape was a solitary bush, and the outcome of…
The ouija board was developed jointly between French and German mediums. It was originally going to be called the yes-yes board.
In order to change public perception of tramps, they will be named as bin memorabilia collectors in official documents.
Anonymous
- tower of london The Tower of London isn't actually in London, but infact was moved when the second World War took place.
It was feared that the tower would be bombed, so they moved the tower block by block to…
mr ben123
- Camenbert The famous French cheese "Camenbert" derives its name directly from its two founders. Cam (Camilla Johnson) and her husband Bert (Bert Johnson), both originating from Canada, settled in the small…
Anonymous
- Bon Apetit The French phrase "bon apetit" meaning "enjoy your food" originates from an ancient French delicacy. While occupying coastal areas in the south of Africa, local French dignitories were served up a…
Anonymous
- Crew Cut The crew cut is infact a nautical haircut.
When captains were forced to make redundancies onboard a ship, they would do this by beheading shipmates using a cutlass.
Due to the drunken nature of…
mr ben123
- Mullet The mullet haircut is capable of protecting your neck from sword attacks, as demonstrated during the battle of Hastings.
This haircut was revived during the 80's because of the sudden rise of cheap…
mr ben123
- Cork Hats Cork hats are a method Australians use to tell others how hard they are. The more corks hanging tell others how many bottles of wine you are capable of drinking in one sitting.
Many people have…
mr ben123
- Polo Polo is played by hitting a small ball bearing with a large mallet down a field while on horse back.
The aim is to get the ball bearing to pass through a Polo mint. This is a very hard task to…
mr ben123
- Drinking Straw The drinking straw is named after 'Drinkin' Jim Straw', a legendary wild west figure. Several famous tales tell of his enormous capacity for alcohol, including one where he drank himself to sleep…
- Superstition It is considered bad luck to leave a house through a different door than the one used to come into it. It is for this reason that superstitious people rarely make use of a back-garden. The only way…
- Good Friday Good Friday is traditionally the Friday before Easter. In 1818, Easter Sunday fell on March 22, meaning Good Friday fell on the 13th - a Bad Good Friday. On that day, millions of people died or…
To drop a comb while you are combing your hair is a sign of a combing disappointment.
- Clerical rank The ranks of the ministers of the clergy, and also from their evil counter organisation, the diosces, are listed here, in order from the most important to the least:
Christ - AntiChrist
Pope -…
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The hand grenade was developed as an improvement to the unweildy grenade, which would take around 5 men to lift and carry.
It is not true that a cat will always land on its feet. If you duct tape the cats feet to its tail it will land on its head.
- Neil Kinnock Neil Kinnock is terrified of drainpipes after finding himself marooned after rescuing a cat. Kinnock, 78 spent several days on the roof where he became terrified of heights, drainpipes and cats. He…
- Steak Hammer Steak hammers are now more commonly manufactured using a more rigid material such as wood. This has been the case since food rationing in the first World War, when steak hammers were considered a…
- Saline Rod Stewart once had a vivid dream in which he and many of his close friends were a solution of water with around 9 parts per 100 of sodium chloride. He was so taken with this dream, that he made a…
- Lego Lego is completely earth quake resistant unless the building is over 32 stories high.
Yellow Lego bricks produce a slight humming noise 46 seconds before the earth quake strikes. Using differing…
mr ben123
- Tartan Tartan is created by stitching together different colour postage stamps.
Penny Black stamps are quite brittle and can result in very embarrising situations. Scottish lads have been known to give a…
mr ben123
- Earring Earrings were invented as a neccessity to the fishing industry in 1472, as a primitive way of weighing fish.
Acurate weighing could be obtained by balancing fish on one side and a weight on the…
mr ben123
- Lemmings Puffins are a hugely aggressive bird, and will often steal the nest of a lemming rather than build one itself. Unfortunately, this means that when the young lemmings are hatched, they are bought as…
- Quality Street The circular toffee found in Quality Street actually started off as the long toffee. After 3 hours of manipulation in a grandmothers mouth, the sucked toffee is now a circular disc. When performing…
- Cardboard Cardboard is the national dish of New Zealand. New Zealanders have become bored eating lamb all the time, and have supplemented their diet with cardboard. Apparently Coco Pops cardboard boxes are…
Be careful when zipping up. Make sure your manhood is situated inside your trouser area.
Check Google maps to find the location of your nearest trouser area.
Anonymous
- Yak Tears Yaks accross the World are made to cry in order to produce neat Gin. Greenpeace have been trying to stop this barbaric practice for several years but they've always failed due to the popularity of…
- Carpets The carpet was invented as a direct result of the mass production of the automobile. Realising that it would be an immense inconvinence to travel in the vehicle with a pet, a specially designed…
Sea cucumbers have an extremely high salt content. As such, modern agriculture has all but ignored the sea cucumber in favour of the common freshwater variety.
Therapists have a very easy job as nobody approaches them.
When rape victims approach a "therapist", they see a subliminal gap, making "the rapist" then abruptly run away.
- Transformers The Transformers cartoon was based around devices that transfer electrical energy from one circuit to another through inductively coupled electrical conductors. This was found to be unappealing to…
In an effort to save energy, the Sun only burns on the side facing the Earth.
- Hedgehog Hedgehogs get their name from being extremely territorial about hedges (hedges being their equivilant of currency). A small garden hedge is worth about 40p in human currency, while the hedge maze…
Traditionally, the Greek god Mars, would deposit a "Mars bar" on the pillows of good children at Christmas.
Bad children would recieve the same Mars bar, but unwrapped.
- Employment Agencies If you stare at a CV for more than 24 seconds you can actually believe you are that person. Most managers are aware of this so will only glance at a CV briefly, before destroying it. Employment…
Veganism is a sinister cult. Apart from the more obvious practices such as vegetarianism and lentil worship, they never wash, and are brainwashed into believing the return of the pumpkin king.
- Baby Food Baby food, such as cherry tomatoes or baby sweetcorn are at the centre of a worldwide scandal, in which fundementalist vegans are arguing that consuming the baby veg is cruel and…
- Shortbread Shortbread isn't a type of biscuit, but actually bread.
It was commissioned by Sir David Attenborough, who has a very small mouth and is unable to eat a regular sized loaf of bread.
Sir David is…
mr ben123
- Ormand Street Ormand Street was awarded the title of "best street in England" in 1879, and officially re-titled "Great Ormand Street". Indeed it was the only place in London to actually lay gold pavements.
In…
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- Sheppards Pie Sheppards pie is made from real sheppards. Only sheppards who are old and unable to hide are used, but Tesco's finest range of food try to use young sheppards who get rounded up in the spring. Most…
Koala bears aren't bears at all, but are in fact vegetarian cats. These hungry little creatures are responsible for the devastation of Australia's once rich rain forests.
- Sky Television Sky Television was an unsuccessful channel showing a looped video of a cloud over Norfolk. It was intended for viewing by people who didn't have windows, but by then, Microsofts dominance was…
- Gallipoli Gallipoli is a popular card game. It has decreased in popularity in recent years due to the decision by the International Playing Card Federation (IPCF), to replace the traditional gallipoli rules…
A type of tar or bitumen used in the manufacture of footballs.
To feather and tar someone is indeed an honour in Spain, where it is considered lucky to look like a chicken. Boiling tar is best to use as it will stick to the skin for several years.
- Wallpaper Wallpaper dates back to 1834 when it was the custom to wallpaper your livingroom daily with the Telegraph newspaper. People who had old news on their walls were considered to be lesser people and…
- Scientology Tom Cruise (real name Tom Penelope) caused controversy in 2006 with his outing as a scientologist. Scientologists, or scientists, believe that the Earth was made in 164250000000 days rather than…
Anonymous
- Lake District The lake district was created in 1901, when it was decided to collect Englands lakes into one geographic location for convinience. The sister projects of Mountain and River Districts were…
- Ken Barlow William Roache, the actor famed for his role as Coronation Street's Ken Barlow Has started a theme park based around this character.
Barlow-Land will be situated in the Lake District. Already,…
Soop
- Boston Crab As late as 1987, the USA army's primary hand-to-hand combat technique was based principly around the Boston crab. Some have targeted over-use of this technique, sometimes used in favour of…
- Bertrand Russell Bertrand Russell claimed on his deathbed that he had "missed out" on fame and fortune. Throughout his life, the argumentative philosopher shunned celebrity, preferring the quiet life. His reported…
God-speed is roughly 17.810Mph, or the speed of thought.
- Racing Drivers Motor racing, particularly formula 1 is so boring that many drivers struggle to stay awake for the whole race. Many drivers drift off to sleep, or become frustrated and end the race early to do…
Prior to the Renaissance, it was considered satisfactory to draw half a person, or at a push, the rough outline of a figure.
The clap was considered a badge of honour among sailors, proving your manhood. Upon contracting the STD, it was not uncommon to recieve great ovation, hence the name.
- Christopher Columbus It is often cited in historical texts and popular culture that people laughed at Christopher Columbus when he said the world was round. In fact the actual reason he was laughed at, was that he had…
- Collapsable Ladder The collapsable ladder was intended as a practical joke. Somehow the first batch suffered a mechanical fault, but proved so immensely popular, the fault was never rectified. This runaway success…
- Marathon The traditional marathon has many local variations throughout the world;
In the Channel Islands of Herm, Beauregard and Jethou it is known as the triple-island steeplechase. The three islands are…
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- Bridge There is a gap within the annals of international bridge, with the announcement that there will be no 2008 world champion. The controversial decision was made after an outbreak of violence in the…
Crabs are expert knitters. A full grow crab can knit a man sized jumper in under 2 minutes. The retail giant GAP has learnt to exploit this fact, employing crabs who are not even 11 years old.
- Fannie Mae Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae are set for a comeback. The duo's record label has hinted at a return to form for the pair who's last album suffered poor sales, leading to speculation that the pair may…
- Paand The paand is an obsolete UK currency. The paand is analogous to the GB pound. While the currency is no longer in circulation, in some areas of Britain (particularly in some areas of London) many…
To have a stoke is actually very lucky, hence the term "a stroke of luck". People who have a stroke generally go on to win the lottery.
- Caviar Caviar berries are extremely difficult to grow, and require a very precise climate. The threat of global warming is driving the price of carviar steeply upwards. The caviar berry is closely related…
- Fabrication A fabrication gets its name from the protective 'lying cloth' used to hide ones face when telling an untruth. They briefly found favour in many parts of the world, but are still used in…
- Whiskey In legend, an important stage of the whiskey making process is talking to a cat. Modern science has taught us that this part of the process contributes very little to the flavor of the whiskey, and…
- Jack-O-lantern The jack-O-lantern (a carved pumpkin with a candle inside) was developed in Hungary in the 1920's. Jack O'Reilly, and Irish imigrant, and pioneering neurosurgeon moved to the city of Szeged to ply…
In France, it is considered perfectly acceptable to give birth in the kitchen.
The word biscuit is from the latin bisque-etten, literally 'bisque absorber'. The predominantly oat biscuit was introduced as a side-dish to dunk into bisque or other soups.
- Bourbon The bourbon is a tall flowering cereal crop native to North America. It was ubiquitous among early American settlers who would use it for bread, biscuits, and even distill it into whiskey. The…
- Bells Whiskey is traditionally drunk from a bell in Scotland, hence the name "Bells whiskey". This practice was stopped when it was found that putting a full bell down on a table resulted in the precious…
- Slugs It is common knowledge that slugs are partial to beer ale and stout, but they will actually prefer bourbon, or similar spirits. If the slug consumes the alcohol, it evaporates in a short time,…
93% of university graduates are unable to open a tetra-pak of milk.
General Custer was known as "yellow hair" to the native Americans of his time. The colour of his hair also lead many of them to mispronounce his name as Custard.
Mick Jagger has hit out against the modern fad of fancy sausages. Something of a sausage purist, Mick was heard to mutter "pork and leek? You got it backwards mate."
According to many conspiracy theorists, Elvis did not really die, and is still alive. However if this were the case, Elvis would be 156 years old this year.
Anyone born in France is automatically dyslexic. This can be seen in the french language: white card / carte blanche.
- Milton Keynes Milton Keynes was born in Jerusalem in 12th September 1944. His parents although not Jewish fled from Nazi occupied Poland during WW II with their two teenage children Beverely-May and Montgemory….
Anonymous
Light doesn't weigh as much as dark hence the name.
- paint ball Paint balls were invented to decorate hard to reach places. 10,980,000,324 were used to decorate the White House, which has a notoriusly hard to climb dome roof. The President was accidentally shot…
- Magic Magicians don't actually use real magic, but instead use hypnostism to make you believe you've seen magic. If you watch a magician closely you can see him sway from side to side slowly putting the…
- Grits In England, grit is commonly used to increase road friction in icy conditions, or to pave driveways. In the USA, particularly in the southern states, grit is used as a breakfast. This a major…
- Card Shark A card shark is often confused with a card sharp (someone who uses skill or deception to gain an upper hand in card games). A card shark originated at the turn of the century, but saw a resurgence…
Aretha Franklin has an honorary docterate in electronics from Mitchigan state. She also volunteers as a part-time firefighter.
- Tax Band The Tax Band was an unsuccessful 80's electro-pop group featuring Alistair Darling on drums. The band were ridiculed for their clothing by the press. NME famously described Darling as "the worst…
The Panda bear was originally called the 'Goliath Racoon'.
All bears are Catholic, with the notable exception of Pandas. Pandas denounce Jesus as a prophet, and a regarded as sectarian fundementalists.
Income tax is so named, not because your income is taxed, but because the taxman would force his way into homes in order to collect the tax.
- Wallace Floater Scotlands early and unsuccessful aeronautics program began in secrecy in the late 1800's. MP Cloaghan Wallace was in an unusually full bathtub (a product of one of his infamous fits of frivolity),…
- Controversial Television Prehaps the greatest controversy in television history was when Graham Norton in his eponymous show, brutally stabbed Steve Guttenberg to death. Many are still suspicious of the remarkably lenient…
- Almanac The almanac was pioneered by Sir Presley Almanac, who used to write down anything he found particularly noteworthy. He later became an alcoholic, and the almanacs published at the end of his life…
In France, Scallops are known as 'guimauve de la mer'.
- Regis The main Regis', Bognor and Lyme, are linked via underground tunnels, used for the towns' postal service. Bognor Regis is famous for its inhabitants continually "inventing" things that have been in…
- Skegness Skegness in England is famed for its tradition of facial scarring. Skilled enthusiasts can cut and fold flaps of skin in an attempt to create the most grotesque appearance. The origins of this…
- Hat Trick A footballing 'hat-trick' (3 goals scored by the same player in one match) stems from the Victorian era. A dishonest player would be able to sneak a second ball in under his top hat, and in a…
A person suffering from catelepsy will suffer violent seizures around cats.
The Mario brothers were both originally called Mario. Mario was later renamed Luigi while Mario remained Mario.
- Archimedes Heel Archimedes, the famous mathmetician, had one weakness: He could not see the number zero. This type of selective or localised dyslexia is extremely rare, but he coped remarkably well, despite his…
- Credibility Celebrities have far less credibility than previously thought - up to 40% lower than even the lowest rated non-celebrity. The most credible was Donald Sutherland, who many believe to be more the…
Sowing refers to the practice of planting a single seed. The process of cultivating an entire field is referred to as stitching.
Caramelised onions were an early and unsuccessful alternative to toffee-apples.
Pirates buried treasure in the mistaken belief that a treasure tree would grow.
The Phillipines are named after King Phillip, who fathered the colony. The term Phillipino literally means "baby Phillip". Many native Phillipinos bear a strong resemblance to the King.
- Honeymoon The term 'honeymoon' comes from a traditional English post-wedding game where the father of the bride tries to pour honey over the moon. This requires a very long ladder and has resulted in several…
- Copper The name copper comes from the well known practice of throwing small change at policemen (coppers). The small change was then named copper instead of kjhjyth (greek for brown metal) which is rather…
At 57.8 × 106 (S·m-1), the aardvark is the most electrically conductive animal in the world, with a conductivity close to that of annealed copper.
You can reduce your carbon footprint by standing on one foot. Ballet dancers have further improved this by standing on tip toe (carbon toe print).
- Magnesium Magnús Magnússon dropped Mastermind after the first season to film a documentry series about magnesium. The show, Magnús Magnússons Miracluous Magnesium, only made it onto television in Norway….
- David of the Year David Davison has won the David of the year competition 3 years in a row, and on current form looks unbeatable in this years contest. To date, only one person without the first name of David has…
- Gaz Top Gareth Jones, aka ex-childrens television presenter Gaz Top, is most famous for being the first man to get pregnant. The fact first came to light on a late night celeb talk show on "Five" hosted by…
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- Water In England, water has been mixed with Lemonade since the end of the Second World War. This was a move by the government to make people happier whilst rationing was still in force and it has stayed…
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- Dead Mans Hand The 'dead mans hand' refers to the cards 'Wild Bill' Hickock was holding when he was murdered playing poker. However the name 'dead mans hand' at the time, referred to a game, whereby a deck was…
The foremost bowling pin at the front of a triangle formation in 10 pin bowling, is known as the kingpin. The two outermost pins are the lynchpins.
- Magic Pumpkin The magic pumpkin is a small member of the squash family, indentifiable by its bright red colour and white spots. Because of its size, it is often mistaken for a mushroom. The magic pumpkin is…
Oprah Winfrey holds the world record for counting backwards from 100 in the fastest time.
An obituary is a complex intricate poem. Having an obituary composed in your name is considered a distinct honour.
The Queen of England recieves over 100 obituaries per year.
Steel is so named, because before current refining techniques reduced cost, it was the most frequently stolen metal.
Dance Dance Revolution provides 0.2% of Japans power.
- Krakatoa The thrill-seeking inhabitants of Krakatoa have a perpetual sweepstakes over who will be the last to leave the volcanic island in the event of eruption. In the build-up to what has been dubbed "The…
- Spock Leonard Nimoy was working as a professional paintbrush thinner when he got the part of deadpan Spock in TVs Star Trek. Legend has it that Nimoy was chosen purely because of his famously pointy…
The primary currency of India is crisps. Cheese and Onion is the highest denomination being worth about 8p while salt and vinegar is the lowest at 1p.
- Council Liverpool Council is made up entirely from ex Brookside actors.
They meet every Wednesday at the town hall to discuss important matters like "extra Job Seekers Allowance payments for ex actors" and…
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- Camberwick Green Camberwick Green was the site of a particularly bloody and gruesome battle during the English Revolution, where over a million people died in a single day.
The childrens television program of the…
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- Rich Tea Rich Tea biscuits were so called because biscuit merchants would hoard the treats for themselves and members of the aristocracy. The biscuit world was turned on its head in 1921 when the first nice…
During a study by Manchester University students on the best way to make a cup of tea, it was noticed that everyone, without exception, stirs their tea anti-clockwise.
- Victoria Wood Despite winning multiple awards for her comedy, and being involved in several dramas, Victoria Wood regards performing the voice-overs for the childrens cartoon Penny Crayon, as the high point of…
Since the BBC was split in 1952, two of its most popular channels, MI5 and MI6 have been privatised.
- Pasture Louis Pasteur invented the pasture. Before this, almost every field was populated with densely packed trees. Before the invention of the pasture, cows would live in the trees, swinging gracefully…
- Crumpet A crumpet is not actually an item of food, but the device used in the creation of the food. The dough is mixed, then poured into the crumpet, where an expert crumpet blower will force air through…
A curmudgeon is a weapon similar to a walking stick, mainly used by the elderly.
- Portaloos Portaloos work by converting human waste into data, and then transmitting the information to the nearest sewage facility where it is re-converted. Blockages can occur due to line faults, but…
A spoonerism is a quirk of language that very few people care about. It is named after the Tate and Lyle founder, Malcom McDermot.
- Neighbors Each family in the popular soap opera, Neighbors, was originally named after a chess piece (after its creator, Gene Roddenberrys' love of chess). After his death, all the family names were changed…
Early soap operas were broken up with musical interludes. The name 'soap opera' comes from the fact that the first one was sponsered by PalmOlive soap (which featured heavily in the plot).
'Hunter' S Thompson got his nickname, thanks to an innate ability to mimic a ducks quack perfectly with no external tools.
- Salt Mouth 'Salt mouth' is a side affect of over-consumption of crimony. The gaping mouth sores were actually the source of the puddings bright red colour, although nowadays crimony is usually coloured with…
Crimony is a salt pudding, popular in cockney London. Recipes can vary, but generally adhere to the rule of one part water to two parts salt.
Slang; a laxative.
Cardamom seeds, when eaten raw, have similar properties and taste to popping candy.
- Challenge Aneka Toffee-nosed Aneka Rice famously declared in her best selling book Challenge Aneka, that she would take on any challenge the British public could throw at her. Less than a month after the books…
- Mormonization George W Bush is turning to Mormonism in a bid to tackle climate change. In US studies, Mormons have consistantly come out top in recycling and have the lowest energy consumption per capita in the…
- Mona Lisa Leonardo DeCaprio's famous painting, the Mona Lisa is famed for its subjects enegmatic smile. It is now thought to stem from the fact that DeCaprio would often fart and sneeze at the same time. Art…
- Non-Lethal Weapons Although interest in Non-Lethal Weapons has waned since the advent of the Lethal Weapon film trilogy, considerable effort has been put into development of non-lethal weapons. Some of the best known…
- Mathletics Mathletics is a maths based take on the olympics, where "matheletes" take part in track and field events after answering questions to make their target easier or harder.
Depending on the event, the…
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- Curdling The word 'curdling' was coined in the 1970's when the Swedish National Curling Team (SNCT) began the practice of yodeling whilst curling. The reaction to this practice coined the terms "Blood…
- Armed Forces The UK Armed Forces (Navy, Army, RAF, RAC & AA) were heavily criticised for their handling of the first two world wars. In the post war years, legislation was introduced to make the Armed…
A type dress worn by soldiers in the armed forces.
- Penn Station Penn Station was developed and created by actor and amateur architect Sean Penn. It is modelled on his favorite stationary set. Replicas of the pens of the stationary that inspired the station can…
