All Facts

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  • Google Google. Do not look yourself up on there not even if you're a cartoon character. ESPECIALLY NOT IF YOU'RE A CARTOON CHARACTER.

Anonymous

  • Homophobia If you are one, you are not based or SiGmA . Homophobes are people who hate gay people and anyone who is LGBTQ+. They claim that gays are MeNtAlLy IlL .

Anonymous

  • Gender In my opinion, there are more than 2. Other people think there are ONLY 2 in a non-homophobic way. Some people claim there are ONLY 2 in a VERY homophobic and transphobic way.

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  • Manhood Be careful when zipping up. Make sure your manhood is situated inside your trouser area. Check Google maps to find the location of your nearest trouser area. wdym

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  • Side READ ME! Add your own fact Fact of the Minute Newest Facts All Facts Forum Changey bit Blog TCATWF Uchi Clothing The Columbo-izer The Baracus-izer edit this panel

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  • Shrove Tuesday Shrove Tuesday is the traditional Christian festival held on the 4th week of the first month which is a prime number each year. Observers of Shrove tuesday follow various customs, but central to all...

Anonymous

Anonymous

  • Bakers Warning First thing in the morning, bakers' warning or alternatively, Last thing at night, bakers' delight is a simple rhyme relating to unsanitary hand-washing practice among bakers, based on the...

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  • Daniel Daniel is a German word for nonsense, often linked in anecdotes about exploding whales.

Anonymous

  • Women Women are basically 'womb-men' i.e. human men with a womb. They have chosen to have a life with an inverted glans-penis inside their bodies instead of on the outside and larger breasts so as to...

Anonymous

  • Yak Tears Yak Tear Haircare manufactures a line of haircare products that incorporate imported Tibetan yak tears. These products include: Yak Tear Hairspray Yak Tear Shampoo Yak Tear Conditioner Yak Tear...

Mr BenMr Ben

  • Cows A species of animal know for their ability to store fat. See Yak Tears.

Anonymous

  • a doll's house A play by Henrik Ibsen in which there are many intresting facts. such as the unknown addition of Robert Raszka whose name is spelled wtrong

Anonymous

  • Vomit Being sick on one's opponent is an actual technique in several traditional martial arts. In some styles of kung fu it was customary to throw up on one's opponent upon their defeat whilst in shotokan...

draconacticusdraconacticus

  • cheryl cole did you know that cheryl cole is the prettiest lady in britan/united kingdom

Anonymous

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  • farmers Farmers are men who live a life flipping silege (hay which cows eat) or gathering the slury (poo) to put down on crops. Farmers also have to use a tractor and a bailer for bailing hay and etc. But...

eminomeeminome

  • Bondage Bondage originally comes from Lithuanian where it is a customary practice to tie the wife to the husbands back upon marriage. Women who want to get out of marriage will consume lots of sprouts in an...

Anonymous

  • Darlington Every year, Darlington celebrates winning the Best town called Darlington contest - despite never having won it. At the inception of the competition around 20 years ago, many complained that the...

Anonymous

  • Best Sound In The World Every 13 years, many counties join in an international competition to present the best sound in the World. Unfortunately, the future of the competition looks to be in dire straits after fighting broke...

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  • Tim Lovejoy Popular television cockney, Tim Lovejoy, maintains a spec of fecal matter on his left eyeball. When he winks, he aligns this so that, to him, the person he winks at looks like their head is comprised...

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  • Standing Ovation A standing ovation is the art of balancing an egg upright on a flat surface. In ancient Rome, it was a common practice to balance thousands of eggs outside a theatre during a performance, which the...

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  • Dog Days Dog Days (Latin: diēs caniculārēs) is the ritual of the capturing, skinning and drowning of dogs. In ancient times, on really hot days during the summer months people believed that drowning dogs and...

Anonymous

  • Stoke The Stoke football team are known for their agression and resilience. This is thought to be due to the fact that their manager, Tony Pulis, personally breast-feeds his players.

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  • Bees Bees are afraid of guitar solos.

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  • Haunted Football Ground Hull City's football ground is said to be haunted after several visitors to the facility noticed a whimpering sound coming from the male lavatories during away matches. There is evidence to support...

Anonymous

  • Pillock A cross between a pilchard and a haddock. Not to be confused with the pollock, the pillock is tasteless.

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  • Evaporation The Armed Forces have a long running feud with meteorologists. This stems from the fact that weathermen tend to shorten the word evaporation to evap , which sounds similar to the abbreviation of...

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  • Water In England, water has been mixed with Lemonade since the end of the Second World War. This was a move by the government to make people happier whilst rationing was still in force and it has stayed...

Anonymous

  • Disco Disco died out rapidly in the 80's thanks to the popular practice of locking all the doors at the end of the night, and torching the building with everyone inside. Disco Infernos were hugely popular...

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  • 40 Winks The turn of phrase 40 winks comes from an old American custom of responding to a request for the time of day with a saucy wink. The later the hour, the greater the number of winks. Upon reaching 40...

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  • Sleep Deprivation In extreme cases of sleep deprivation, scientists have found that the mind actually carries a backup supply of 30 minutes sleep, which it can resort to. Moreover, this supply is refreshed after every...

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  • The way to a man's heart... The phrase the way to a man's heart is through his stomach was not originally intended as guidance for women looking to seduce the target of their affections. The saying harks back to a period of...

draconacticusdraconacticus

  • Razor Blades The number of blades carried by men's razors have, in the last five years, increased rapidly. This is due, in part, to a massive increase in facial hair in the western world, caused by the fertilising...

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  • Polo Mints The closest a cat has ever been to a polo mint is 3cm. Aside from that instance, the distances involved are far greater. In recent years, many people claim to have evidence of a cat physically...

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  • Bastardisation The final stage in the process of cretinisation. In order to create a fully bastardised object, person or thing, up to 3 dozen eggs must be consumed. Many universities offer a certificate of...

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  • Price Fixing Examples of price-fixing have risen in the last decade, partly due to the disappearance of sticky price labels. Rather than remove the label and then use a pricenator gun to adjust the value of goods,...

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  • Cannister A cannister is twice as long as a can. The earliest example of a cannister was simply two cans joined together.

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  • Schadenfreude Schadenfreude is the German word for colouring in without going over the lines .

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  • Rolf Harris Rolf Harris can draw circles, but says that, without practice, this skill could fade.

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  • Gene Simmons The former Kiss frontman attributes his extraordinarily long tongue to the fact that, as a child, the things he wanted to lick were far away.

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  • Post-it Post-it notes were originally intended to be forgeries of postage stamps - but during manufacture, the wrong button was pressed, leading to the yellow block we have today.

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  • Minnow Despite being used as a metaphore for something of diminutive size, minnows are several times larger than atoms, and consider themselves extremely important.

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  • Finch The finch family are classed as a woodcraft tool. This only applies to true finches.

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  • Oil Rigs Oil rigs are among the tallest structures known to man, at up to 80 miles tall. However, because of their location, they are classified as boats.

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  • Baba Ganouche The baba ganouche, was not the villain, but rather the villain's moustache in 18th century Arabia. The baba ganouche fell out of favour, when it was realised it often gave suspects away.

Anonymous

  • Peter Jackson Hollywood director Peter Jackson's CV, describes one of his hobbies as spinning around w/ arms streched [sic]

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  • Phil Spectre For a large part of his life, Phil Spectre believed he could fire a cannonball straight through his belly with no ill effect. With each experiment ending in disaster as the ball failed to pass through...

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  • Ringo Star Ringo Starr suffers from narcolepsy. Additionally, he gained something of a reputation in the 70's for having an underlying smell of polyester. Despite abandoning polyester near the end of the 1970's,...

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  • Indigo Indigo was developed in 1956 for the 200th anniversary of the rainbow. Contrary to popular belief, indigo is not present in any rainbow, or indeed elsewhere.

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  • Chutney Chutney was developed as an elicit preserve by Marc Bosworth II, an eccentric who had been bequeathed an abundance of exotic fruits. The sub-standard contraband is still consumed with rich foods that...

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  • Kilts The Scottish invented the kilt as a means of countering the notoriously savage debagging of captured soldiers by the invading English forces. The conquests of the Royal Debaggerye Yeoman (now...

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  • Show Business The well known phrase There's no business like show business is in fact a complete nonsense. The meat packing industry is identical in every way.

draconacticusdraconacticus

  • Soup Apart from a soup spoon, there is also a soup knife, and a soup fork. All three are in a display case in Sudan.

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  • Caravans Due to a curious bye-law, it is a legal obligation in England to furnish every 3rd field under a certain size with a caravan. No-one has been able to distinguish a good reason for doing so, so the...

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  • Challenge Aneka Toffee-nosed Aneka Rice famously declared in her best selling book Challenge Aneka, that she would take on any challenge the British public could throw at her. Less than a month after the books...

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  • Joker The 'joker' in a deck of cards was originally a blank card intended to be a spare, but everyone used to write something rude on it anyway. Rather than remove it, they left it in for the 2 known card...

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  • Random %%content{1}%% %%content{2}%% All content copyright Tom Crowley %%content{3}%% %%content{4}%% This will be content of the side bar. The main content. This will go into the left cell of the...

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  • Cor-gi's After a brief experiment in fashion in the 1980's corduroy suits, or cor-gi's as they were known, were banned on the full contact karate circuit after 2nd degree blackbelt Suzuki-Bandit caught fire...

draconacticusdraconacticus

  • Stilton Before the village of Stilton was famous for its cheese, it was famous for its ornately carved stilts. The biggest stilt ever recorded was manufactured there in 1815 and can be seen in the Stilton...

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  • Pachinko Japanese Pachinko players are often confused and upset by pinball tables. A regular sight at Brighton pier is a solitary Japanese tourist pawing meekly at the protective glass, in a vain effort to...

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  • Al Pachino If Al Pachino wants to end an interview prematurely, he will burst into tears. In Japan, he is known as Balls of Steel .

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  • Calamari Irish crooner Ted Calamari took his own life upon learning his namesake was in fact, fried squid. His son Basil Calamari learned some years later, that the family name was taken from Calamari bay in...

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  • Doctor, doctor Doctor, Doctor jokes pre-date modern medicine by tens of thousands of years. Cave paintings in South-West England have revealed that Medicine-man, Medicine-man jokes were in common circulation up...

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  • Heads and Tails In 1967, the columbian government invested several million dollars developing a 3rd torso side to the Columbian coin currency. This 3rd side was seen as the middle ground between the polar yes/no of...

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  • Boxing Gloves Boxing gloves were originally designed to prevent boxers using abusive hand gestures. By 1918, the profanity in a boxing match was so bad, that the gum shield was introduced, and finally it was...

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  • Meat Teeth In Southern Estonia, canine teeth are referred to as meat teeth . Across the border in Latvia, they are not. This was compounded in an event where an Estonian man, in a visit to a Latvian dentist,...

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  • Bovril The meat-based drink Bovril is actually a cardinal, after being ordained by Benedict XV in 1915. For much of the early 20th century, Bovril was recognised as the second-highest power in the Catholic...

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  • The Amazing World Of Fact NEW! Google Gadget to add to your Google homepage or Desktop Simply click the Google button to get started. What are facts? Facts are all around us. You can't see them, but they are there. There!...

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  • Jay Z Jay Zed, AKA Jay Zee, AKA Jigga Man had the top of his head, including his eyes, removed in January 1999 in an attempt t appear more hip-hop (y'all niggaz can't see me). Perhaps rather predictably,...

apimpnamedslickbackapimpnamedslickback

  • Korea The rain in North Korea tastes like lemonade, and is a great source of national pride. Just across the border to the south, however, the rain tastes very bitter and is considered unpalettable. In...

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  • Hamster The only way for an English speaking person to correctly pronounce hamster is by placing an object roughly the size and shape of an egg into ones mouth while forming the word. Failure to do so will...

Anonymous

  • Gift Horse In times past, when giving a horse as a gift, it was quite common to install a powerful gallium arsenide laser into its mouth, as a joke. By looking directly into the horses mouth, one risked...

Anonymous

  • Nougat The nougat is a small rodent related to the mouse. The substance used in confectionary is obtained in small amounts by scraping the inside of its pelt. When heated, the sugars disolve and it breaks...

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  • Ball and Peen Ball and Peen were originally rival inventors, both claiming to have invented the hammer. Once it had been established that hammers had been in use for several years beforehand, they joined forces,...

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  • Smug Cloud The first appearance of a smug cloud occurred during the 1986 Icelandic boil lancing championship. Eilífr Goðrúnarson was defending his 17 year title when a literally unknown young contender with...

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  • Oblong An oblong is any rectangle which has 8 sides. Rectangles with 7 sides are known as posh squares .

Anonymous

  • Shakespear The original version of the Shakespear play 'Twelfth Night' contained a 45 minute Lute solo, and is rumoured to have contained the first example of rapping. The 4 verse rap was a contribution by...

Anonymous

  • Cumerbund An Etonian prank where several males soil the sandwich of another.

Anonymous

  • Anti-Climax A procedure whereby semen is forced back into the testes. Rarely used, due to the distinct possibility of rupture.

Anonymous

  • Duke of Edinburgh The Duke of Edinburgh loves to wave away imaginary pigeons, but insists on limiting himself to one a day.

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  • Big Brother The Big Brother TV program regularly recieves huge ratings as people around the UK tune in and try to figure out how to claw the miniature people from the picture box.

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  • Picket A picket is a tiny fence made of toothpicks.

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  • Smorgasbord A flat, cricket bat sized implement smeared with cream cheese. Widely used in the Netherlands to club seals.

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  • Seals Seals love cheese, but quickly become disorientated if no port accompanies the snack. Sealions on the other hand, become aggressive when approached with dairy based snacks. Hundreds of people die...

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  • Green Beret The Green Berets are extremely dangerous, as they are not yet ripe.

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  • The Ashes The famous cricket trophy contains the cremated remains of W.G. Grace, arguably the greatest batsmen of all time. Legend has it that the holder of the trophy is imbued with cricket super-powers. If a...

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  • Taxi The wording behind the 'fouling charge' warnings in a taxi are unclear, but the law specifies that the fouler must imburse the foulee. This means that the driver, if sick, is liable to pay the...

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  • W.G. Grace W.G. Grace, H.G. Wells and W.H.Smith all hated each other.

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  • Columbine The demarcation of the coulomb barrier, or to hover on the precipice of said barrier indefinitely.

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  • Fulmenon The Fulmenon was renamed soon after its invention, and has never been called as such since.

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  • Scotch Egg A scotch egg is a phonomenon where an egg develops a tartan yolk. And has an alcohol content of 40%

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  • Excuses The only true all-purpose excuse is to state simply and unequivocally that you fell. This will never fail.

Anonymous

  • Barry Cryer Self-styled Brummie Barry Cryer caused contoversy during an episode of Countdown. When prompted for a brain-teaser, he yelled out; YOUR BRAIN'S A FUCKING IDIOT , shocking the audience. The tirade was...

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  • W.O.O.O, The Incredible The incredible dubleya oh oh oh , or WOOO is a dancehall reggae MC known for his violent outbursts. After several years of study, it was found that he suffers from a unique condition, whereby...

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  • Winslow Arizona Every year, 56 people in Winslow Arizona are crushed by vending machines. In the event that fewer than 56 have been crushed by the end of the year, the remainder are disposed of in a special 'crushing...

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  • Football Hooligans In Rome, football hooligans attack rival fans by stabbing them in the bum. Most Roman football fanatics are thus wheelchair bound, not as a result of injury, but rather as a preventative measure. In...

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  • Sadness The African tribe of the Nabuí have no word for sadness , apparantly a significant contributing factor to many suicides.

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  • sheffield united Were officially the 4th worst team in the championship in the 2008 - 2009 season. Behind the relegated sides, they achieved fuck all and played more games than everyone else, including 5 games of...

Anonymous

  • Ground Cumin A cheaper alternative to the rarer sky-cumin.

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  • Taiwanese Luck In Taiwan, it is considered extremely lucky to have two hands. Unfortunately, with most of the population considering themselves to be blessed, the Taiwanese are prone to take unneccessary risks.

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  • Bill Cosby Bill Cosby's favorite car has over 18 wheels, a swimming pool, and a volleyball court. He insists on wearing a special Dick Dastardly style hat whenever he drives.

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  • Clematis A cross between a clementine, a tomato, and a lettuce. It has an acrid, buttery taste, and is toxic. The clemato, however is delicious. But also toxic.

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  • Camomile The Camomile is a breed of cat that lives on tea leaves. The cat instinctively knows which tea leaves are perfect to eat. Tea farmers exploit this by following the cat until it chooses a leaf. They...

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  • Signing in the Rain The most complex musical ever staged, is signing in the rain. The score is played entirely in sign language, which is blasted out at an ear-shattering 200 decibels.

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  • Paddy Ashdown Paddy Ashdown cannot resist sprinting at full speed around corners. It has surprised more than one passer by, and resulted in 2 deaths.

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  • Spongecake Spongecake is a myth; sponges do not have distinct circulatory, respiratory, digestive and excretory systems, and would not be able to digest cake.

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  • Nazi Gunfire During the second world war, Polish resistance fighters would paint balloons to look like their own heads and tie them to the shoulder of their tunics in the hope that this would attract the Nazi...

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  • Ikea Ikea created a Monopoly style video game in an attempt to monopolise the video game market. The plan backfired after a glut of similar games from rivals flooded the market. Of these, only the DFS...

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  • Rugs A survey by Ikea shows that 1 in 50 rugs are sneered at contemptuously. This makes them the most apparantly contemptable homeware furnishing. Light switches were the most admired.

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  • Shoulders People born without shoulders tend to be more intolerant of loud talking.

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  • Artificial Sweetener Artificial sweetener is made from mashed spider eggs, which are then mixed with sugar. Due to the slight bitterness of the eggs, more sugar is needed to achieve a comparable sweetness.

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  • Frankincense Frankincense is an expensive egg curry. The royal family of Monaco eat it exclusively.

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  • Eminem Research shows that Eminem, the popular singer/songwriter, may be steadily inverting. Interestingly, Eminiem backwards is Meinime, although this is unrelated.

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  • Recipe for Success There have been many recipes for success over the years, but all contain 1/2 cup of water and a pinch of nutmeg. Drinking a half cup of water with a pinch of nutmeg however, will not guarantee...

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  • Amputation Surgical amputation was performed with a hammer as late as 1932.

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  • Parsible A sanctimonious bible story. Can also be used to describe a story with some vapid/flimsy religious moral subtext.

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  • Ron Howard Ron Howard is the President of Australia. He rose to fame as Richie Cunningham in 'Happy Days', and later went on to direct several Oscar award-winning films, notably Apollo 13.

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  • George Formby George Formby is remembered fondly for his skill with the 'Banjulele', but he was also immensely skilled at pest control. George starred in a number of adult films before his death in 1956.

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  • Prawn Crackers It takes a prawn approximately 2 hours to produce a single cracker.

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  • Marko Murat Marko Murat is the name of a fictional Serbian painter. In 1812, the Serbian goverment hired several well-known artists to commision several pieces under this pseudonym for the anniversary of the...

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  • Hamstring The hamstring is the slightly elastic string tied around a joint of meat. Severing this meaty string is considered extremely bad luck among atheletes, who always consume it whole.

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  • CCTV Due to the frequency and scale of vandalism to CCTV cameras in certain parts of the UK, CCTV cameras are required to be monitored via CCTV.

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  • King Prawns King Prawns was an 18th century Austrian count. He succeeded the throne in 1742 and abdicated almost immediately, gaining him enormous popularity in South-East Asia.

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  • Lemon Curd Lemon curd is the single most preventative substance of scurvy. Unfortunately, it is impossible to fill a donut, the largest cause of scurvy, with lemon curd.

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  • Nairobi The most influential person in Nairobi is regarded to be Obi Wan Kinobi, the fictional Star Wars character. He is credited with opening a nationwide chain of Toby Carveries, despite the fact that at...

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  • Kidney Beans Kidney beans are widely recognised as being the most important contributing factor to winning a marathon. Since the poll started in 1963, Time magazine's readers have consistently voted the top 3 uses...

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  • Louis XIV In 1643, Louis XIV came to the French throne. Louis like many of his forebears was an advocate of both humidity and precipitation. His coronation was commemorated by endeavouring to find a way to nail...

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  • Pillow The word pillow comes from the French 'Pillion' which means (to) cloud. The first recorded use of a pillow was in 1643, in les reasons d'aitre which describes an attempt to bag fog.

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  • Electrical Conductivity Electrical conductivity is apportioned by the IEEE in Brussels. Due to the incredible complexity of this process, many elements have not yet been appointed any specific conductivity, leaving them as...

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  • Sasquatch A satsquatch is a sour pickle, often seen in extreme survival rations. They taste abominable, which could explain why they are often found discarded in the arctic tundra and himalayan mountain range.

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  • Smart 1952 marked the first time in Englands history that the uneducated were able to wear nice clothes, after a law requiring tailors to issue an exam upon purchase was repealed. Prior to this, the...

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  • Concur In April 1827, over 217 people concurred, resulting in a small explosion and a backlog of 6 to 8 weeks. Other famous concurrers have been William (the) and Julias Caesar.

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  • Chewing The way you chew food can significantly affect the taste. As part of a scientific study at the University of Manchester, subjects were tricked into believing that apples were steak. After they chewed...

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  • Angelina Jolie Angelina Jolie is a practiced master of accents, but her natural voice is a deep Westcountry burr. Her husband, Brad Pitt, has likened her to a sexy pirate.

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  • the earth may be hit on friday 13 2029 People say that the earth is going to be hit on the 13 of april which is a friday. So the world may end on the 13 of april 2029. Conservative estimates suggest this day will be the premier screening...

Anonymous

  • full moon The full moon has often been attributed with the power to cause people to behave in an irrational way. This fact is coroborated by the opinions of three out of three administrative assistants...

Anonymous

  • The sun Many people falsly believe that the sun is actually a star. This of course is rediculous. It is obviously much larger than a star and much hotter. Could you get a sunburn or perhaps starburn from a...

Anonymous

  • Basketball Basketball is the sport of the gods. One day a basketball fell from the sky and evolves into what is now Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris cut off one of his ears and created a basketball net. When he cut...

Anonymous

Anonymous

  • Kids Kids are a form of torture put in this world to torture parents everywhere for their inappropriate behavior.

Anonymous

  • Manitoba Manitoba is a prairie province in Canada. It is also the coldest of the lower provinces. The inuits that live there build igloo's to keep warm in the average -50 temperature. The polar bears that the...

Anonymous

  • The jonas brothers The jonas brothers are allegedly from the year 3000. They came back from the future in their time machine (nick jonas' guitar). When Joe Jonas was singing for its a small world (The CEO of Disney...

Anonymous

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  • Horizon On the moon, the horizon is tilted 45 degrees from the angle we percieve on the Earth.

Anonymous

  • Space Bar The space bar on a computer keyboard was originally called the gap key. It was then renamed the hyperspace bar due to its function in the Defender and Asteroid video games, then shortened to 'space...

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  • Negative Growth Negative growth is a financial term for something getting smaller. Even the word 'negative' is being phased out of the banking dictionary, replaced by phrases such as 'less large', and 'oppositely...

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  • Economic Downturn Many people are tempted to hide from economic downturn under a table - thinking that the downturn will be unable to see, and thus target them. In fact, this is exactly where the downturn is. The best...

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  • Knowledge Knowing is half the battle, leading many to conceed victory despite inflicting overwhelming losses to their opponent, simply by misunderstanding the circumstances.

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  • Wilmslow Due to an administrative error, the entire Dorset town of Wilmslow is a palindrome.

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  • Clementine Controversy The clementine controversy centres around a Frenchman named Louis Vitton, who was allegedly struck blind by eating too many cirtrus fruits. The blindness may however, have been due to excessive...

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  • Soup; The Origins First seen in the middle of the indian ocean, soup was made from left overs of a pirate attack on a rare breed of basking shark. The now extinct species would excrete a sloppy substance from a blow...

Anonymous

  • Government Benefits As everyone knows, government targets are hard to meet - epecially when you only do 5 actual days work per year. However, simply throwing money at problems is a much quicker short term solution than...

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  • George Takei George Takei (real name George Han) gained his unusual nickname suring the filming of the initial series of Star Trek. The star gained a reputaion for performing flawlessly every time, thus earning...

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  • Squirrels Until 1804, squirrels were completely indistinguishable from common field mice. Frustrated by being constantly mistaken for them, the squirrels developed an elaborate costume that would be passed down...

Anonymous

  • Serifs Britain once banned confusing serif fonts amid fears that they were too difficult to read - but the change was repealed mere hours after it was passed, due to a loophole regarding simplicese (a term...

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  • Quadraplegia A man left without the use of all for limbs was mauled to perfect health when his wheelchair accidentally fell into a lion enclosure. The unnamed man insisted that previously, he really was disabled...

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  • Formica Manufacture of Formica was bought to an abrupt halt in 1985 when it was deemed to be counter-productive.

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  • Downs Individuals with downs syndrome have an innate skill in gardening. In tests, downs sufferers were consistently able to grow a tree up to 1.39 times faster than unaffected individuals.

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  • Butterflies Butterflies are theoretically lethal, but their feeble barb cannot penetrate human skin. Confusingly, butterflies live almost entirely on a diet of margarine.

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  • George Foreman George Foreman claims that his new George Foreman branding device is so good, he puts his name on literally everything. George Foreman, is in fact, one of four people by the name George who look...

Anonymous

  • Equator Recent analysis has recently shown that the Earths equator is gradually slipping sideways.

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  • Downholstery Downholstery is the process of making furniture appear worn and less valuable.

Anonymous

  • Stovepipe Hat The stovepipe hat was at the centre of a roaring controversy in the early 1920s after several members of the house of commons suggested that women be allowed to wear the hats (specifically any type of...

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  • Cutlery During the reign of Tzar Nicholas II of Russia, using an item of cutlery for anything other than its intended purpose was punishable by a lengthy jail sentence. Many, when faced with with a large...

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  • Ambush The word ambush comes from a region in the Navejo desert where 2 tribes were continually feuding for over 30 years. The only cover in the sparse landscape was a solitary bush, and the outcome of any...

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  • Ouija The ouija board was developed jointly between French and German mediums. It was originally going to be called the yes-yes board.

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  • Tramps In order to change public perception of tramps, they will be named as bin memorabilia collectors in official documents.

Anonymous

  • tower of london The Tower of London isn't actually in London, but infact was moved when the second World War took place. It was feared that the tower would be bombed, so they moved the tower block by block to Germany...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Camenbert The famous French cheese Camenbert derives its name directly from its two founders. Cam (Camilla Johnson) and her husband Bert (Bert Johnson), both originating from Canada, settled in the small...

Anonymous

  • Bon Apetit The French phrase bon apetit meaning enjoy your food originates from an ancient French delicacy. While occupying coastal areas in the south of Africa, local French dignitories were served up a...

Anonymous

  • Crew Cut The crew cut is infact a nautical haircut. When captains were forced to make redundancies onboard a ship, they would do this by beheading shipmates using a cutlass. Due to the drunken nature of...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Mullet The mullet haircut is capable of protecting your neck from sword attacks, as demonstrated during the battle of Hastings. This haircut was revived during the 80's because of the sudden rise of cheap...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Cork Hats Cork hats are a method Australians use to tell others how hard they are. The more corks hanging tell others how many bottles of wine you are capable of drinking in one sitting. Many people have died...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Polo Polo is played by hitting a small ball bearing with a large mallet down a field while on horse back. The aim is to get the ball bearing to pass through a Polo mint. This is a very hard task to...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Drinking Straw The drinking straw is named after 'Drinkin' Jim Straw', a legendary wild west figure. Several famous tales tell of his enormous capacity for alcohol, including one where he drank himself to sleep...

SoopSoop

  • Superstition It is considered bad luck to leave a house through a different door than the one used to come into it. It is for this reason that superstitious people rarely make use of a back-garden. The only way to...

SoopSoop

  • Good Friday Good Friday is traditionally the Friday before Easter. In 1818, Easter Sunday fell on March 22, meaning Good Friday fell on the 13th - a Bad Good Friday. On that day, millions of people died or were...

SoopSoop

  • Combing To drop a comb while you are combing your hair is a sign of a combing disappointment.

SoopSoop

  • Clerical rank The ranks of the ministers of the clergy, and also from their evil counter organisation, the diosces, are listed here, in order from the most important to the least: Christ - AntiChrist Pope -...

SoopSoop

  • Hand Grenade The hand grenade was developed as an improvement to the unweildy grenade, which would take around 5 men to lift and carry.

SoopSoop

  • Feet It is not true that a cat will always land on its feet. If you duct tape the cats feet to its tail it will land on its head.

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Neil Kinnock Neil Kinnock is terrified of drainpipes after finding himself marooned after rescuing a cat. Kinnock, 78 spent several days on the roof where he became terrified of heights, drainpipes and cats. He...

SoopSoop

  • Steak Hammer Steak hammers are now more commonly manufactured using a more rigid material such as wood. This has been the case since food rationing in the first World War, when steak hammers were considered a...

SoopSoop

  • Saline Rod Stewart once had a vivid dream in which he and many of his close friends were a solution of water with around 9 parts per 100 of sodium chloride. He was so taken with this dream, that he made a...

SoopSoop

  • Lego Lego is completely earth quake resistant unless the building is over 32 stories high. Yellow Lego bricks produce a slight humming noise 46 seconds before the earth quake strikes. Using differing...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Tartan Tartan is created by stitching together different colour postage stamps. Penny Black stamps are quite brittle and can result in very embarrising situations. Scottish lads have been known to give a...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Earring Earrings were invented as a neccessity to the fishing industry in 1472, as a primitive way of weighing fish. Acurate weighing could be obtained by balancing fish on one side and a weight on the other....

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Lemmings Puffins are a hugely aggressive bird, and will often steal the nest of a lemming rather than build one itself. Unfortunately, this means that when the young lemmings are hatched, they are bought as...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Quality Street The circular toffee found in Quality Street actually started off as the long toffee. After 3 hours of manipulation in a grandmothers mouth, the sucked toffee is now a circular disc. When performing...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Cardboard Cardboard is the national dish of New Zealand. New Zealanders have become bored eating lamb all the time, and have supplemented their diet with cardboard. Apparently Coco Pops cardboard boxes are the...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Carpets The carpet was invented as a direct result of the mass production of the automobile. Realising that it would be an immense inconvinence to travel in the vehicle with a pet, a specially designed...

Mr BenMr Ben

  • Sea Cucumbers Sea cucumbers have an extremely high salt content. As such, modern agriculture has all but ignored the sea cucumber in favour of the common freshwater variety.

Mr BenMr Ben

  • Therapists Therapists have a very easy job as nobody approaches them. When rape victims approach a therapist , they see a subliminal gap, making the rapist then abruptly run away.

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Transformers The Transformers cartoon was based around devices that transfer electrical energy from one circuit to another through inductively coupled electrical conductors. This was found to be unappealing to...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Solar Efficiency In an effort to save energy, the Sun only burns on the side facing the Earth.

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Hedgehog Hedgehogs get their name from being extremely territorial about hedges (hedges being their equivilant of currency). A small garden hedge is worth about 40p in human currency, while the hedge maze at...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Mars Traditionally, the Greek god Mars, would deposit a Mars bar on the pillows of good children at Christmas. Bad children would recieve the same Mars bar, but unwrapped.

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Employment Agencies If you stare at a CV for more than 24 seconds you can actually believe you are that person. Most managers are aware of this so will only glance at a CV briefly, before destroying it. Employment agency...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Vegans Veganism is a sinister cult. Apart from the more obvious practices such as vegetarianism and lentil worship, they never wash, and are brainwashed into believing the return of the pumpkin king.

SoopSoop

  • Baby Food Baby food, such as cherry tomatoes or baby sweetcorn are at the centre of a worldwide scandal, in which fundementalist vegans are arguing that consuming the baby veg is cruel and unneccessary. There...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Shortbread Shortbread isn't a type of biscuit, but actually bread. It was commissioned by Sir David Attenborough, who has a very small mouth and is unable to eat a regular sized loaf of bread. Sir David is very...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Ormand Street Ormand Street was awarded the title of best street in England in 1879, and officially re-titled Great Ormand Street . Indeed it was the only place in London to actually lay gold pavements. In 1801...

SoopSoop

  • Sheppards Pie Sheppards pie is made from real sheppards. Only sheppards who are old and unable to hide are used, but Tesco's finest range of food try to use young sheppards who get rounded up in the spring. Most...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Koala Bear Koala bears aren't bears at all, but are in fact vegetarian cats. These hungry little creatures are responsible for the devastation of Australia's once rich rain forests.

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Sky Television Sky Television was an unsuccessful channel showing a looped video of a cloud over Norfolk. It was intended for viewing by people who didn't have windows, but by then, Microsofts dominance was assured.

SoopSoop

  • Gallipoli Gallipoli is a popular card game. It has decreased in popularity in recent years due to the decision by the International Playing Card Federation (IPCF), to replace the traditional gallipoli rules in...

SoopSoop

  • Football Pitch A type of tar or bitumen used in the manufacture of footballs.

SoopSoop

  • Tar To feather and tar someone is indeed an honour in Spain, where it is considered lucky to look like a chicken. Boiling tar is best to use as it will stick to the skin for several years.

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Wallpaper Wallpaper dates back to 1834 when it was the custom to wallpaper your livingroom daily with the Telegraph newspaper. People who had old news on their walls were considered to be lesser people and not...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Scientology Tom Cruise (real name Tom Penelope) caused controversy in 2006 with his outing as a scientologist. Scientologists, or scientists, believe that the Earth was made in 164250000000 days rather than the...

Anonymous

  • Lake District The lake district was created in 1901, when it was decided to collect Englands lakes into one geographic location for convinience. The sister projects of Mountain and River Districts were mothballed...

SoopSoop

  • Ken Barlow William Roache, the actor famed for his role as Coronation Street's Ken Barlow Has started a theme park based around this character. Barlow-Land will be situated in the Lake District. Already, Johnny...

SoopSoop

  • Boston Crab As late as 1987, the USA army's primary hand-to-hand combat technique was based principly around the Boston crab. Some have targeted over-use of this technique, sometimes used in favour of firearms,...

SoopSoop

  • Bertrand Russell Bertrand Russell claimed on his deathbed that he had missed out on fame and fortune. Throughout his life, the argumentative philosopher shunned celebrity, preferring the quiet life. His reported...

SoopSoop

  • God-Speed God-speed is roughly 17.810Mph, or the speed of thought.

SoopSoop

  • Racing Drivers Motor racing, particularly formula 1 is so boring that many drivers struggle to stay awake for the whole race. Many drivers drift off to sleep, or become frustrated and end the race early to do...

SoopSoop

  • Renaissance Prior to the Renaissance, it was considered satisfactory to draw half a person, or at a push, the rough outline of a figure.

SoopSoop

  • The Clap The clap was considered a badge of honour among sailors, proving your manhood. Upon contracting the STD, it was not uncommon to recieve great ovation, hence the name.

SoopSoop

  • Christopher Columbus It is often cited in historical texts and popular culture that people laughed at Christopher Columbus when he said the world was round. In fact the actual reason he was laughed at, was that he had...

SoopSoop

  • Collapsable Ladder The collapsable ladder was intended as a practical joke. Somehow the first batch suffered a mechanical fault, but proved so immensely popular, the fault was never rectified. This runaway success led B...

SoopSoop

  • Marathon The traditional marathon has many local variations throughout the world; In the Channel Islands of Herm, Beauregard and Jethou it is known as the triple-island steeplechase. The three islands are so...

SoopSoop

  • Bridge There is a gap within the annals of international bridge, with the announcement that there will be no 2008 world champion. The controversial decision was made after an outbreak of violence in the 2008...

SoopSoop

  • Crab Crabs are expert knitters. A full grow crab can knit a man sized jumper in under 2 minutes. The retail giant GAP has learnt to exploit this fact, employing crabs who are not even 11 years old.

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Fannie Mae Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae are set for a comeback. The duo's record label has hinted at a return to form for the pair who's last album suffered poor sales, leading to speculation that the pair may...

SoopSoop

  • Paand The paand is an obsolete UK currency. The paand is analogous to the GB pound. While the currency is no longer in circulation, in some areas of Britain (particularly in some areas of London) many refer...

SoopSoop

  • Stroke To have a stoke is actually very lucky, hence the term a stroke of luck . People who have a stroke generally go on to win the lottery.

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Caviar Caviar berries are extremely difficult to grow, and require a very precise climate. The threat of global warming is driving the price of carviar steeply upwards. The caviar berry is closely related to...

SoopSoop

  • Fabrication A fabrication gets its name from the protective 'lying cloth' used to hide ones face when telling an untruth. They briefly found favour in many parts of the world, but are still used in Ahfghanistan...

SoopSoop

  • Whiskey In legend, an important stage of the whiskey making process is talking to a cat. Modern science has taught us that this part of the process contributes very little to the flavor of the whiskey, and by...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Jack-O-lantern The jack-O-lantern (a carved pumpkin with a candle inside) was developed in Hungary in the 1920's. Jack O'Reilly, and Irish imigrant, and pioneering neurosurgeon moved to the city of Szeged to ply his...

SoopSoop

  • France In France, it is considered perfectly acceptable to give birth in the kitchen.

SoopSoop

  • Biscuits The word biscuit is from the latin bisque-etten, literally 'bisque absorber'. The predominantly oat biscuit was introduced as a side-dish to dunk into bisque or other soups.

SoopSoop

  • Bourbon The bourbon is a tall flowering cereal crop native to North America. It was ubiquitous among early American settlers who would use it for bread, biscuits, and even distill it into whiskey. The modern...

SoopSoop

  • Bells Whiskey is traditionally drunk from a bell in Scotland, hence the name Bells whiskey . This practice was stopped when it was found that putting a full bell down on a table resulted in the precious...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Slugs It is common knowledge that slugs are partial to beer ale and stout, but they will actually prefer bourbon, or similar spirits. If the slug consumes the alcohol, it evaporates in a short time, turning...

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Graduates 93% of university graduates are unable to open a tetra-pak of milk.

SoopSoop

  • General Custer General Custer was known as yellow hair to the native Americans of his time. The colour of his hair also lead many of them to mispronounce his name as Custard.

mr ben123mr ben123

  • Sausages Mick Jagger has hit out against the modern fad of fancy sausages. Something of a sausage purist, Mick was heard to mutter pork and leek? You got it backwards mate.

SoopSoop

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